we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
