You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
