He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
