He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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