If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
