Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize