the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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