Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
