therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
