i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
