If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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