I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
As shirtless as possible
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
