Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
