Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
