I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
