oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
