She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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