i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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