can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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