Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
