DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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