Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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