so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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