you guys were way drunker than both of me
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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