just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
