he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
