u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
