Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
