dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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