dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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