he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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