You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
