dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
