Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
