I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
