And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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