If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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