if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
