No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
