Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It's just like the Real World with babies
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
