He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
