Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
