His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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