I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
