a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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