where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
