We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I have post one night stand depression
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