I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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