I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
