Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
