he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
