you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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