I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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