I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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