You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
