i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
