kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
