You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
